BEFORE I BEGIN... so I don't confuse myself.
I looooove all of my friends. There are just certain things that I don't love about you. Things that just drive me nuts. And this is what is on the list. I looooove my pals. <3
1. You're one of my best friends, but seriously yo, how can you treat people the way you do? Wait, scratch that. You treat me horribly. All the fucking time. I can recall like, one time when you haven't treated me like shit. I feel like a baby, but whatever. I'm sick of it. I love you and everything, but I can't handle being your punching bag. I feel like I'm always there for you, and you just don't care. I feel like I'm putting more into this friendship than you do. It isn't fair. If you aren't going to bother, then seriously, why should I?
2. I don't understand you. I really don't. I don't get your insecurities. You're beautiful, talented... but yet you're so insecure? People tell you this all the time, and it's like you refuse to accept it. Stop being hard on yourself all the time. Please. It sounds mean, but I just hate when people aren't confident and don't believe in themselves. It shouldn't, because that makes me a hypocrite. We all have insecurities, but yours are through the roof.
3. You jump from person to person. One day we're full of laughs, and the next, it's like harsh words were exchanged; incredibly awkward, and I don't know what to do. You are also one of my best friends, but I seriously don't get what goes on.
4. I don't think you've ever been my friend. We've never really been able to like, talk about anything. I think you're amazing, and I really wish we were closer. I don't know if I'M the reason we aren't as close as we could be, or if it's YOU. I really hope that someday we can like, become better friends.
5. What did I ever do to you?
6. I hate you.
7. I'm sorry.
8. Can you please just believe in me?
9. You're a waste. A waste of everything. Waste of space, waste of oxygen... what are you still doing here?
10. I'm not sorry. You deserved it. You have done so many horrible things. And then as soon as you're "forgiven", you just forget about it? Do you not realize how fucked up you've made everything? You did not deserve to get them back. The only reason you had me was because she never left you. She would never abandon you. But, my question is, where did she learn that? Because I know it wasn't from you. You run, you hide, you abandon. It's who you are, and you are disgusting. One day, you need to accept the fact that you aren't perfect. I tried to tell you once, and you couldn't accept it. You're a coward, as well. I don't want to see you.
11. Oh my gosh. There's so much that I want to tell you. Things I want to ask you. Why did you leave me? Nevermind me. How could you leave him? How could you leave her? How could you leave my dad? I'm not blaming you, I mean, you obviously couldn't help it. It's just unfair, and I miss you. Brian turns 40 on Monday, in case you forgot. :)
12. I don't tell you that I love you enough. I wish I could.
13. I don't think you realize how much I love you. You are incredible, and one of the people that I value the most in my life. I don't think I'd be able to handle losing you. Partly because I love you, and partly because you have inspired me. After everything you've endured over your lifetime, your heart is 10 times the size of any human being. Sure, sometimes you're stubborn, but so am I. I'd like to think that I'm a lot like you.
14. You're loud. You're obnoxious. You're annoying. I really hope you grow out of this.
15. Go away. Go away. Go away.